


First Christmas

by gabsmatos



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Christmas, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 10:44:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17078837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabsmatos/pseuds/gabsmatos
Summary: The first Christmas of Gorillaz.





	First Christmas

It's Christmas, again.

For most people a good and happy time. The whole family gathered, lots of food and especially the presents, which everyone wants most. But not for Murdoc Niccals.

Murdoc is known as “hairless Grinch” at Christmas. But this year would be different. It's the first Christmas in Kong since Noodle arrived. That was the difference; Murdoc continued the same old tosser.

Stuart and Russel were excited about the date, after all the girl had cheered the house so much in recent months with her Japanese that no one understands, her treats and her unpretentious sweetest affection that what the least they should do was return the favor by giving her a merry Christmas.

The problem was that neither of them knew if the little girl had ever celebrated Christmas in her 10 years or even knew what it was about.

 They tried to communicate with her showing, presents, Christmas tree and Santa Claus, without any reaction from the girl. Probably ten Christmas she didn’t celebrate any.

They even took her to a mall to see the decoration. Of course she had a lot of fun but didn’t understand much of why all those people were decorating and putting lights on everything. She hadn’t even had a birthday party in her life so celebrations of any kind made her little eyes shine.

The singer and drummer were heartbroken, but Murdoc didn’t seem to mind much. Soon all three were arguing just on Christmas Eve.

"Mu'doc, you insensitive wanker, our baby never had a Christmas before ..." The singer said with a frown staying next to Russell. The drummer folded his arms with the same angry face to Murdoc.

"So what?" The Satanist retorted, "It's just another stupid date, and I'm a Satanist, what the hell do I would want to celebrate the birth of Jesus? Do I look like a fucking Christian now? People only use this bloody excuse to spend money on unnecessary gifts and join the .... Family for a hearty dinner ... Totally purposeless. "He said the word in disgust really not wanting to argue about it.

"Well, Murdoc, being stupid or not she never had and we're going to do something here in Kong for her, yes." Russel snapped. The little girl watched everything frightened from behind the door of the room doing everything not to be noticed and not liking the tone they were using with each other. Usually Murdoc who was rude and lacking in patience, now the others were retaliating. She bit her lip and hid under her helmet.

Murdoc gritted his teeth. "And since _when_ do you order something here, Russel? It's _my_ band and _my_ studio and I DON’T want Christmas. "He growled back fully defensively.

"But why Mu'doc? Why a celebration is so wrong ...? _Why do you hate Christmas so much_? "Stuart asked, trying to get closer to the bass player.

Murdoc clenched his teeth even harder and shoved his hand violently away from him. He didn’t want to explain why, he would feel like a moron. It was really just a celebration and Noodle deserved after all the joy she brought, there was nothing much. But he wasn’t going to admit to the blue idiot that he was right.

"Y’know what? Fuck it, if you want to make this stupid celebration, okay, I'm not going to participate and don’t come after me asking for help after everything goes wrong. "He said extremely nervous going out to Satan knew where.

Noodle flinched and hurried off to her room. She was afraid when Murdoc got very angry or shouted too much. She was actually not afraid of him ... She was more sad to know he was miserable. No matter how angry he got in life or drunk, he never raised his fist or threatened to hit her.

He went to his room thinking about what to do to make the Satanist happier, as he was in fact one of her parents. He was going to do something for Stuart and Russel eventually, but now the focus was on the older one.

 

Russel and Stuart sighed in defeat. Talking to Murdoc when he was as mad as he was now was unsuccessful.

"Let's go 'D ... We have a lot to prepare for tonight ..." Russel put his giant hand on Stuart's bony shoulder. "Even if Murdoc doesn’t participate, Noodle deserves a celebration and it doesn’t have to be exactly Christmas, I'm just glad she's here with us ... I know it was really hard to take care of her but I think we did a good job didn’t we? "He tried to smile, seeing how Stuart was devastated.

Stuart loved when Murdoc took part in this family stuff, as he knew that the Satanist never had anything like that in his life and the singer was infinitely happy to know that he could do something good for him, especially on Christmas Eve.

"It's ... Muds also helped us with her, a shame he doesn’t want to participate ..." He looked down ... No matter how much his heart begged to go after him, he was going to leave the Satanist for some time alone. He was only worried about the cold and the fact that he hadn’t come out in any thick coat.

 "But let's make the best Christmas Eve for her." He said excitedly going to decorate the tree and help the drummer with the food. Although they were only the three Stuart knew well how much Russel ate. It was almost dark then they would have little time.

 

 

Meanwhile in Kong's cemetery, Murdoc was cursing, kicking pebbles and talking to himself. At least nobody would disturb him. It was starting to get cold and he was pretty sure it was going to snow soon. The strange thing was that they already made other Christmases that didn’t snow in Kong. It never really snowed, it was just a bitter cold. He shrugged it off by lighting a cigarette.

He looked around all the graves. It was strangely peaceful to be in a place surrounded by so many dead people. It was less annoying than living people he could tell. One of the people who always reminded him of death was his father. And in festive times it was he who came to haunt him.

The real reason why Murdoc Niccals hated Christmas was because, like Noodle, he never had a party when he was small. His father was usually too drunk to care about the date, and Hannibal was at home beating the shit outta him before going to dinner at someone else's house. Usually he was hiding alone in a corner. He wrapped his arms around him trembling. Even the cigarette flickered on his lips.

Since they had no heater, staying home or on the street made no difference. He was going to die of cold until the next morning anyway. In a few years he would steal some strong drink from his father to try to warm up and spend Christmas Eve drunk enough to forget that his life was extremely miserable.

He had no friends to spend the night in someone else's house ... His father wouldn’t allow it either. Sebastian could appear drunk at dawn to drag him home by pulling Murdoc by his hair and it wasn’tt exactly the goal at Christmas. He wasn’t suppose to involve other people into his misery.

Other times he decided to go out to see other people's Christmas. Normally he would end up alone in the gray streets of Stoke seeing the lights shining for everyone except him. Even the homeless people had a fire or sorta to warm up themselves. Families with the table full of foods he couldn’t even name and heated ... Full of smiles, hugs, kisses and opening gifts. He loathed it. Hates cuz  he couldn’t have, hate because he had no one.

Murdoc would only rush back home only when it began to snow, and yes, on the inside, it seemed more pleasant. The beatings in the cold were much worse to bear but if he stayed on the street he knew he wouldn’t last until the next morning.

He looked at one of the inscriptions of the tombs and can clearly saw " _Sebastian Niccals_ " written, giving a wicked grin on his face. The bastard who destroyed his Christmas joy. Not just Christmas but everything Murdoc had. He robbed his childhood and tormented him to this day. At least now he was dead.

Murdoc knew he was wrong. He had been rude to everyone on Christmas Eve just because he didn’t want to have to explain to anyone how much and why he hated that date. He didn’t have to satisfy anyone, he was Murdoc Fucking Niccals. But he didn’t hate the people who lived with him, he would never hate Noodle. She deserved every party in the world, she was a special girl for themselves ... He loved her much more than he could put in a delicate way, but his selfishness and traumas pushed her away once more. The Satanist was always so defensive that ... he attacked, that he raised his fists, that he yelled.

He didn’t even notice when his cigarette was gone. His lips were purple and dry with cold. He now had the chance to do differently ... Not make mistakes anymore .... He sat down on the floor and rested his face on hands that were equally icy. Was there still a chance for him? Why the hell with all the best people in the Noodle world was appearing just for those misfits?

He wanted to drink, he'd kill for a drink now. But he knew that if he drank too much he would end up destroying the others' Christmas, which now had been expelled. His heartache would quickly become rage and he would cash in on everyone in front of the Noodle.

The sight of the little girl crying broke his heart. He had made her cry a few times before, out of fear. And the bitter of the drink alone would only remind him of the times he swore to forget. So it was just him and the tombstones. Maybe another cigarette. But always alone ... How it had to be.

He sighed and wiped his eyes. Tears would start to freeze and it wouldn’t be good for someone who was already freezing. What an idiotic idea running without any protection for such a cold night. He held himself up to protect himself from the cold and lit another cigarette, feeling more alone than ever. Loneliness wasn’t a problem after so many years living with it, but now ...

Suddenly he felt something falling on his shoulders. He looked up to see if it was someone and looked at the fabric, facing his purple cape. He'd be grateful if it was Stuart or Russell, but he came face to face with a pair of big round curious eyes drawn at the height of his head.

"Noodle ...?" He asked in disbelief. The girl was very cute wearing one of Stuart's coats since they hadn’t gone to buy clothes for her size yet. It was enormous for her and it had the same sweet smell as his singer.

"What are you doing here, you little devil ...? It will get sick, it's too cold. "He said the obvious throwing his cigarette out so he wouldn’t smoke near her.

Noodle, of course didn’t understand a thing of what Murdoc told her. "Dic." She knew him by this nickname. Russel was "Russa" and Stuart "Toochi" that remained even after she learnt how to say 2D properly. Murdoc smiled at her, wasn’t going to lecture for her calling his name wrong. It was Christmas Eve.

“Thank you." He said about the cape and the girl smiled. She had a paper in her hands ... It was actually a paper wrapped in a gift wrapping that he had no idea where Noodle found it. She timidly offered Murdoc it and he raised a brow but picked it up.

"Is it for me...?" He said with a smile. He knew that the girl hadn’t bought anything and couldn’t handle money ... They hadn’t gone out to buy gifts, or Stuart and Russell went alone knowing that Murdoc wasn’t going to buy anything for anyone.

Carefully he used his large nails to open it without tearing what was inside. It was as badly packed as if Stuart had done it. He smiled, the girl had her hands sticky due to glue. And she should have used scissors too. He made a mental note about not letting Noodle play with sharp objects anymore.

When he opened it was a paper. It was actually a drawing. They had three stick figures and a smaller one in the middle. She excitedly began to explain to Murdoc when he seemed not to understand.

He pointed to one of them "Dic ..." She said with a smile. The stickman was green and had a fringe, she even drew his boots. "Russa" The other stickman was round, looked like a snowman and it was brown. "Toochi" He had black eyes and blue hair, much taller than the others. In the middle the little "Noodle" She pointed to her drawing with something that looked like a guitar on her lap and her helmet.

Murdoc began to laugh ... It was something so cute, so innocent for a girl who didn’t even speak his language. He stroked her hair in praise of her good work. Noodle frowned, he hadn’t let her finish explaining.

She pointed to the whole drawing "Family." She learned that word from Stuart. Then he pointed to each of them "Brother" to Stuart "Uncle" to Russel and "Dad" to Murdoc. Then she thought better and put "Mom" to Stuart, which made the Satanist laugh even more.

Then he picked her up and put her on his lap. He felt a giant lump in his throat. He hated that word "Dad." Every time he heard it he panicked, had horror of listening to it. He didn’t have a father, he had a monster, and that big-eyed little girl now called him "Dad." He hugged her even tighter holding the paper.

It was the most beautiful Christmas present he could wish for.

 

Noodle was even more confused when she saw that the older man had tears in his eyes and held the paper tightly. She thought she had failed again to make him happy. She frowned and turned to him with her little hands rubbing her eyes. "Hurt?" She asked quietly.

Murdoc was surprised to be crying and not even noticing. He shook his head at the confused girl. She had no idea that people could cry from happiness too. "Happy ... Happy Dic ..." He said smiling at her. Noodle smiled again and kissed his cheek “appy Chris’mas Dic…” she said before running back inside again. She had more to do and Murdoc was happy, she did it.

 

Running into Kong's studio, she headed for the kitchen that smelled delicious. Russel was cooking while Stuart was curled up with the fairy light trying to put around the tree. She soon went to help the awkward singer.

"T-thank you Noods ..." He said sitting on the floor already giving up what he was doing. The little girl was quick to pull him out of the lighted trap. She smiled at him, he was an idiot but he had a good heart.

She helped him put the lamps on the tree and it was beautiful. They smiled at the result and Stuart caught the guitarist over his head to put the star on the edge of the tree. Stuart himself wasn’t tall enough for that. They really bought the biggest and most beautiful that was in the store.

At that moment Murdoc appeared through the door. Stuart was with the girl on his lap laughing and she stretched her arms wanting Murdoc. The Satanist was ashamed, first for coming back after what he did and second for the act of the girl. Stuart just smiled at him and let him catch the little girl who immediately hugged him affectionately.

"Er ... She was helping me with the tree, Muds ..." he explained awkwardly. Noodle let go the Satanist and looked at him frowning, he knew what that look meant.

"I ... I came to apologize." Noodle smiled. "I was stupid to have run off just because you wanted a Christmas for our little monster..." he ruffled her hair and she laughed.

Stuart smiled back at him. "It's okay, Muds, nobody's going to force you into anything you don’t want... It's Christmas ... We just want you to be happy." As always the singer was kind hearted and knew what to say to soften the bassist's black heart.

"I ... can I still participate in the celebration? I can help if you need anything ... "Noodle was getting happier. She didn’t understand what they were talking about, but Murdoc's tone made her happy.

"Sure Muds ... You're family too, of course you'll be welcome ... I forgive you." He smiled at them both cheerfully. He knew that Russel wouldn’t mind either if Murdoc changed his mind.

 Noodle patted her Dad on his shoulder to put her down. Her mission had already been done, even with almost no word she could communicate better than many people with those three. As soon as she was on the floor she ran to her room.

"Dents, can I talk to you?" He asked with the paper that was the Noodle gift in his hands.

"Sure ... I'll just tell Russel you're going to join in now." He headed out into the kitchen with the same silly grin. Murdoc rolled his eyes at the unshakable joy of his singer.

 

They climbed to the top of Kong, now the two wearing heavy coats to protect themselves.

"What would you like to talk about, Muds ...?" The singer started awkwardly leaning closer Murdoc.

Murdoc just turned to him and offered the paper lighting himself a fag. Stuart's eyes widened and he grinned when his brain finally understood what was that. "So I'm the mother?" He laughed ... "Who did that, Muds ...? It's ... beautiful ... "He was not sure what to say, his eyes watered.

"Noodle did, and she gave it to me when I was in the graveyard." He smiled at the excited singer. "I thought I should show you ..." He shrugged in a long swallow.

"Thank you, Muds ..." He said it with a smile. "I ... I didn’t imagine that we would get along so well taking care of her ..." He looked at the older man "I remember that at first you didn’t want her to stay ... Cuz taking care of a child was expensive .... It was difficult ... Much responsibility… "He laughed remembering the Satanist's despair with his forehead with a bump of the knock that the wooden door of the Fedex made when Noodle stepped out of it.

"It was a bit of a struggle for me and Russel to convince you otherwise.” He chuckled.

Murdoc smiled. "Yeah, I don’t regret not giving up on her ..." He looked forward to seeing the graveyard. "Let's have a good first Christmas Eve for her," he said confidently.

"It wouldn’t be a good party if you were not in it, Muds, your name is in the card of the gift we bought her..." The singer said hesitantly. Even if Murdoc was mad, Stuart never forget him.

"As strange as it may be to admit it, but it was you who did most for her this whole time...." Murdoc raised a brow, confused and blushed a little, he didn’t even know they bought something for her. It was the tricycle they would use to record _Rock the House_ years later.

"Yeah, don’t you think I didn’t see when you stole those coloring books for her ... And the other one of vocabulary to teach her how to talk..." He laughed, it was too cute the two sitting side by side and she repeating the words with her broken english. Murdoc patient as never before.

"Or when you got out at dawn to buy her medicine because she was sick ... The list of sweet things you did to her is endless, Muds ..." The guy from the pharmacy forbade him to go there after Murdoc came threatening everyone if they didn’t sell Paracetamol in a second for a cheaper price ‘cuz he had forgotten his wallet home.

Murdoc blushed, "Oh shut up ... I did what anyone would do for her ..." he was clearly embarrassed. Stuart gave him a playful nudge.

"You're not anyone, you're her _father_ ," Stuart said simply and Murdoc had to stop for a moment. To play with him Stuart stole his cigarette and placed it between his lips turning to leave and let Murdoc think a bit about that… he shook his head. He was the mother, but was he a good or beautiful mother?

Soon he listened to Russel's shout saying dinner was ready.

Stuart would have to show the drawing to him eventually but for now he just wanted to give Noodle her gift. Before the singer left, a tiny snowflake fell and unlighted his fag. Stuart looked up and it was snowing. He immediately came back to Murdoc’s direction and stuck his tongue outta his mouth feeling another snowflake. He laughed.

"Hey Dents ..." Murdoc came closer him and wrapped an arm around his singer’s waist.

“Yes Muds…” He said looking up to the dark sky and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

 "Merry Christmas, Bluebird." Murdoc told him with a smile.

"Merry Christmas Mu'doc," He gently said back knowing this one wasn’t gonna be like their lasts.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://gabshmatos.tumblr.com)  
> 


End file.
